Putting Canada and Kyoto into layman's terms

Let's put Canada and Kyoto into layman's terms.

We're all a big family called Canada. Our family has but one car. A while back, Dad gave control of the family car to my brother, Grit.

For some reason best known to himself, Grit placed a bet against some other car owners about how much each of them can reduce the emissions coming out of the tailpipes. They called this bet the Kyoto Sweepstakes or something like that. Everyone knows roughly how much their car produces at the time of the bet. They set a date in the future for retesting 12 years down the line.

For 10 years, Grit didn't change the oil, spark plugs or air filter. The car kept running despite it all. That's likely due to the good tuneup I gave it just before Dad took the keys away because I got caught doing donuts in the parking lot. ANYWAY, as the date for the retest approaches, Grit starts talking about maybe changing the oil and sticks a few "Go Kyoto!" stickers on the hood.

Then Dad finally noticed how irresponsible Grit is. Dad suspects him of stealing money using the gas card. So Dad puts Grit on probation and insists Grit share control of the car to me and our bratty little brother, Dipstick and our rebellious sister, Bloc-head, but Grit is still doing the driving.

Things don't go well in that arrangement, especially when Dipstick makes a deal with Grit to keep stealing money using the gas card. Some of the nasty tricks Grit played in the past have come back to haunt him despite his best efforts to whitewash everything.

When it looks like Dad's going to take away the keys, Grit and Dipstick start running around making promises to everyone about how good they're going to take care of everything (using the "free" money from the gas card) so they convince Dad not to kick Grit out of the car business completely. Dipstick is a bit of a goof so no-one really takes him too seriously. Bloc-head? Well, no-one really understands what makes her tick but some of us are getting pretty tired of the bills for the shrink and her medication.

ANYWAY, Dad turns over the keys back over to me and says I can drive but I have to share control with Grit, Dipstick and Bloc-head for the time being.

Grit doesn't like being out of the driver's seat so he's throwing tantrums regularly. He keeps running to Dad and telling lies about me, saying I'm mean, I eat kittens (deep fried making me fat), I have a 'hidden agenda' and other crap. I don't know why Dad listens to him at all. Maybe it's because whenever Grit lies, Dipstick swears to it.

Lately Grit and Dipstick are screaming their heads off, saying I'm not fixing the car up fast enough. Bloc-head spends most of her time, gazing into her navel, listening to the voices in her head that tell her to keep making plans on how to dump the whole lot of us... Occasionally, she's helpful and she has some really good ideas but sometimes I think the quack should up her meds.

So I decide to tell the other car owners that the bet is off but I'm still going to try to fix it up. Grit says I'm going to ruin our good family reputation... which is unlike Grit's reputation as a liar, a thief, a bully and a scoundrel. The "bet" isn't legally binding and it was a bad idea since some of the guys who are in on it are driving dump trucks but they're not required to clean up their act. With all the loot Grit & Dipstick stolen, not to mention the promises they made, it's been kind of hard to get much respect.

Hopefully, Dad can see the good stuff I'm doing and trust me with the keys alone soon.

So how did that happen?

I was playing around with Blogger trying to figure out how to modify a few things. It was (is?) too late at night after a long day at work but I'm too wired to sleep. Anyway, I ended up modifying how I sign in (?) and upgrading my Blogger account by adding a G-Mail account. Go figure! Like I need another email account!

Note to self: sometimes, you shouldn't push buttons.

-Mac

ch-ch-ch-changes?

As many of you may have heard, Jack of Jack’s Newwatch extended an invitation for Cynapse, Sandy (formerly of Crux-of-the-Matter) and myself to coauthor on his blogging news aggragator.

While I haven’t heard for sure whether Cynapse will sign up or not, I’ve accepted Jack’s invitation... as has Sandy. I hope I’m able to contribute in some small way to Jack’s success... not that he needs my help since his formula of news lightly dosed with common sense works.

At this point, I’m trying to stick to Jack’s pattern at the Newswatch but I will stick with my pattern here on Enig-Mac. I know... the world’s slowest blogger but I try to be original.

For those of you who check in regularly, I thank you... and I’ll try to be more regular in my posting. This may mean rationing computer time but I think it’s important... and I hope you agree.

By the way... for those who’ve read my dilemma regarding being transferred to Ottawa, that situation has resolved itself for now... My wife’s mother’s health has improved so remarkably, we’re going to stay in greater Vancouver for the time being.

-Mac

A new word for your vocabulary...

I’ve noticed there’s a few words which seem to have been hijacked by political leftists and warped to suit their own malignant purposes. I’m certain when you see these words, you’ll recognize them and you’ll know exactly what I mean. While I haven’t found a solution for all of the words the leftists have hijacked, I found a solution for two of them.

Entitlements and Rights

You see, for the rest of us (those with normally functioning ethical systems and moral standards) these words are pretty self-evident.

An entitlement is a benefit specified by law or contract. Easy, huh?

A right is something to which one has a just claim and, in the context of government, it is normally used to describe freedoms which are, by definition, placed beyond government control.

Leftists have seized these words and they use them to describe anything which they want... and their wants are multitudinous. You’ll recognize these pitiful creels, I’m sure...

“I want what I’m entitled to!!” (bad grammar)
“I’m entitled to my entitlements!!” (always a classic)
“It’s my right!” (grossly overused)
“I know my rights!” (tell it to the judge... was that my outside voice?)

Certain sub-sects spend every waking hour striving for enhanced rights and entitlements which they describe as equality. In reality, they’re not interested in equality; they want more and they won’t hesitate to trample anyone or anything to get what they want. They care nothing about rights (real rights, not their wants) especially YOUR rights.

So what is this new word? It’s a combination of their two favorite words which will serve to differentiate from the true meaning of each.

EnRightlement

So the next time you hear someone whining about their rights or demanding their entitlements, introduce them to this new word. The next time you read in the newspaper or in the media about some leftist group bleating about rights, substitute this new word. It will serve to clarify the true meaning and place their wants into proper context. For example:

"I have a right to do this" becomes "I am enrightled to do this."

See? No more confusion about what is a real right and what some whining wanker wants. They don't have a "right" at all. They like to pretend they do and they want to convince you or at least intimidate you into silence so they can do whatever they want, whenever they want and (of course) have you pay for it through your taxes.

Another word which could use rescued is “progressive” since the so-called progressive movement describes their pernicious agenda as being progressive. I guess, in a way, it is progressive... like a progressive disease, increasing in extent or severity. There’s very little “progress” in their agenda but plenty of “progressive” if you get my drift.

-Mac